Hi, I am Shiwani, 20 years old. Sounds young, right? But what if you have a clock ticking on your head that reminds you all the time that all you have is these two years?
Either you do something, or you do the dishes. When you come from a family where being educated is not a fundamental thing but a privilege that you are getting, you feel a constant pressure of not becoming a failure. Because if you are among the first women in your bloodline to get a chance to do something and you fail, then those other little girls in your family will lose the hope too.
While everyone around you is enjoying and living their college life with no worry about thinking to prove themselves or about their age, you don't think about enjoying, but you think about new ideas all the time. And then somehow, every idea fails. And that clock again reminds you that you are losing time. I am not scared of failing, neither do I get tired of thinking about new ideas because I love using my imagination and creativity. I know that it's rare in today's world.
What I am scared of is that feeling of that clock ticking on my head and me falling behind. and i get that feeling because I see and meet people who have achieved so much at my age, and here I am, not even able to submit my college fees on my own. And maybe the hardest part is not the ticking of the clock, but wondering if I will ever feel like I am moving at the same pace as everyone else.
